So be sad.

The past few days, weeks, and years I have been coming to grips about change in my life. And of late, I have been extremely sad. But it has been good to be sad. (Sounds crazy, I know.) But when doors close, (although I know on the other side of this sadness there is the most beautiful life awaiting me), it is important to mourn. I am all about focusing on the positive and being hopeful. And I am still those things in the midst of this. Past denial, I am allowing myself to just sit here in the sadness, until somewhere inside I know I can move on. Retreating to lick my wounds till I feel more whole.
I remember another sad time in my life and I was professionally encouraged that I should get "help" with my sadness in the form of medication. I do believe she intended well. Those that loved me wanted me to be well. And so did I. I didn't know then, that it is ok to be sad. In fact, I would go as far as to say it is healthy for a time. I hear my own voice (that is normally informing my son, "It's ok to be sad."), and I now use it for me.
I think of emotional intelligence, a concept I have much to learn about. But the premise is to be aware of your feelings in an effort to be more grounded in how you live. (forgive my poor description.)
"I'm sad," I tell myself. "So be sad," I respond.
So what now? I choose not to feel hopeless. I choose to, while being sad, be grateful as well. To continue to move. Move fast even, as I have been here for quite some time & feel ready to move on. It's time to act. Follow my heart. To not be paralyzed. Follow the flicker of joy and beauty and love.
I choose to face this now instead of letting it linger the rest of my life so that I can once again be happy, healthy, and helpful.