A woman once told me that it was very difficult to work from her home because there was not a separation between working time and down time. In the back of her mind it was always work.
For the past few years I have always had the "I need to figure out how to make money" constantly on in my head. How it drowned out time with my son. Time preparing good food or time to be able to rest. The past year there has also been, "I need to figure out how to afford my own place, make money while not sacrificing time with my son." Then there was, "people are probably thinking I should move out of my parents so I do not drain them." (No one ever said this, yet I thought it vividly just the same.)
Then, it happened. The flip switched. And I realized that it is ok for me to live here now. I can work toward moving out but not at the "I have to move out yesterday" speed. That money will come and I can stop thinking about it every second. And I have thoroughly enjoyed time spend with my son this week and we have eaten at home more. It has been incredible.
And in general, I just feel at peace. Able to be. without all the figuring.
